From Within - Dec 1, 2009

>> Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Nanette is really missing someone....need to hear that sweet voice, see the sparkles in your eyes when you look at me and the tender touches from the gentle hands. :( 
That was my “status” on facebook a couple of days ago…I found it on “Status Shuffle” and it so fitted how I have been feeling the last few days.  Those words so fit how I feel about my mother.  With our impending move, it kind of feels like we are leaving her behind, but I know we are actually moving closer to her.  I'll explain...   Mom passed away in June of 2007 and all of the places that we shopped and things we did together with her are here.  But, we are moving closer to where she is buried in Llano, TX and that's a good thing...we'll be able to make more frequent trips.  It's still not as close as we would like, probably 3 hours away, but that's a whole lot better than 5-6 hours away and fighting the Houston traffic.  I miss her so much; sometimes I just want to go to her.  Mom's love was the purest love I've ever known or will know, but I know that her love for me would want me to go on and live my life without her and enjoy it to the fullest.  That's why she gave me life.  So, it's an internal struggle I fight some days what with the loss of her and my long term battle with depression.

Depression has been a part of my life for 20 years and it has gotten worse over the last 6 years as I have struggled with fibromyalgia and severe headaches.  The pain keeps me from living life like I would like to, but I do have good days.  I take advantage of the good days when they come and truly appreciate them.  Some people don’t understand the pain I’m in and actually think it’s in my mind.  I wouldn’t give this pain to my worst enemy, except maybe Satan.  He deserves it.

In this season of Thanksgiving, we were thankful to have the opportunity to spend time with our close by family and even Dale’s niece, Amy, who came from Arlington, TX to visit.  We are thankful to have my father living with us and for his health.  He is very self-sufficient and takes very good care of himself.  Our children are grown with families of their own and have their health, with good jobs and good futures at this point in their lives.  We are praying Amy will find another job soon as she just got laid off from her job recently.  She is confident and experienced in her field, so she has a lot going for her. 

We have two weeks before the move and the packing goes on and on and on; I do believe we will have to have a garage sale or donate some more “stuff” to a thrift shop or some type of goodwill organization.  I just hate to move it.  I’m cleaning out as we go and giving to the local church thrift shop that mom worked at before her death.  We accumulated so much of that “stuff” when dad moved out of his house, and we weren’t ready to get rid of it right after mom’s death.  Well, it’s about time.  There’s just so much of it you can hang on to, you know?  At some point it’s just too much to clean around!!!  I think mom would understand…



Until next time...
Keep it from the heart,
Nan

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The Beginning - Nov 24, 2009

>> Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I've decided to start a blog.  This is the first post.  My family and I are about to embark on a new phase in life, so I thought now would be a good time to start my blog.

My day started with a blaring alarm clock, which I think should be thrown out the window.  I think all alarm clocks should be destroyed and done away with.  I realize that the world lives on a schedule and I don't, but nevertheless, I think there should be a better way to wake up in the morning than a loud, annoying noise jolting you awake from a deep sleep.

Then, I had to go get a MRI on my brain and neck, as I have debilitating headaches that the neurologist nor any other doctor can seem to figure out.  This has been an ongoing problem and we just keep trying to find out what the problem could be...trying different medicines, exercises, doctors, etc.  One day I will be pain free, I'm convinced...

Next came the fun!  I took my granddaughter, Bethanie, out to lunch.  We talked and laughed, and she told me about her interest in the Twilight books and movies, how she had just been to the "New Moon" movie with her Aunt Stephanie this past weekend.  It sounds like I need to read the books so I can keep up with what she is talking about, plus it sounds like they are interesting!  It's so wonderful to see what a beautiful young lady she is becoming.

The new phase of life we are about to enter is to move from League City, TX (a suburb south of Houston) to Navasota, TX.  Navasota is about 90 miles NW of League City, 20 miles SE of the College Station/Bryan area, and about 25 miles due W of Conroe.  It has appx 7,000 population compared to the ever-growing population of League City's 65,000.  We can remember when you could get around in League City with no traffic back-ups to speak of, except maybe around the high school in the morning and afternoon.  The "we" of us is me, Nan, my husband, Dale, and my father, Ed, who came to live with us after my mother passed away in June of 2007.  Navasota is closer to Dale's work territory and since I don't work now, we are all ready for the slower pace.
Our biggest regret is leaving behind our children, grandchildren, my brother, sis-in-law, nephew & niece.  The good thing is we'll have a house big enough to have plenty of that family come visit with us!!!  They can come any time they want!!  We will be moving Dec 15, and we have been packing steadily for about a month now.  The time is starting to pass quickly now, so it will be upon us before we know it!  Then Christmas will be right on top of that - barely time to put up the tree before it's time to take it down again.  ;->  We don't care though; once it's all put away, we can slow down and really live.

Well, I've bent your ears enough for now, so until next time,
Keep it from your heart!

Read more...
The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1

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